In a society where people are always in a hurry, what if we took the time to really enjoy ourselves? Forget the cult of performance and orgasm and give way to slow sex. Intrigued? We'll let you in on the confidence!

Slow sex, what is it?

Slow sex means making love in full awareness (don't panic, we're not giving you a remake of Gwyneth Paltrow's advice). It's more about truly connecting to the present moment, to others, and above all, to yourself. Forget rapid, straight-to-the-point sexuality (understand orgasm, not OM) and the foreplay-penetration-enjoyment pattern. With slow sex, reinvent the exploration of your bodies and pleasure, it will be more intense.

Above all, we forget the concerns and pressures of performance, whether orgasm, ejaculation, duration…. It is only the sensations felt at the moment that count and this will free you from a weight.

How to get started?

Before we begin, we clear our heads. No need to think about billions of things, to make your brain work at full capacity by imagining a fantasy that will make us reach orgasm faster (you understand, that's not the goal). In slow sex, you take your time, you slowly raise the temperature and you fully enjoy the moment.

Immerse yourself in a bubble where the worries and concerns of everyday life no longer exist. Don't engage in slow sex if you have to look at the watch because your in-laws are bringing the kids back to you in an hour, for example.

On the contrary, turn off your phone, immerse yourself in an atmosphere that you like: music, candle, massage oil, bath... anything that helps you relax and connect to your sensations.

Pay attention to your breathing, to that of the other. Take slow, deep breaths and synchronize your breaths together. Stay close and connected, without necessarily touching, perhaps just through breath and words to start.

Communicate with your partner, describe each sensation that passes through you, it's a meditation technique called, (ok it's not super sexy) "the weather report" by Anne and Jean-François, couple authors of the book 'Slow sex , loving yourself in full consciousness'.

In terms of actions, you can caress each other, massage each other, touch each other, rub against each other... you can progress slowly towards masturbation ( mutual or not) or penetration or stay there, in this bubble of thrills which reinvents sex as we generally perceive it. And just take stock of everything you're feeling right now, right now.

It can be confusing the first time, there is no need to put pressure on yourself if you have difficulty diving into it directly, you can take your time, go step by step. The goal is to do good for yourself and explore other ways of loving yourself.

Slow sex, tantric sex, what's the difference?

You have probably already heard of tantrism and its derivative, tantric sex. Slow sex is a practice that is similar in many ways to tantric sex. The latter is also based on slowness and full awareness. The difference is that Tantrism comes from Buddhist philosophy, originating in northern India. Sex is there to bring about a fusion between the body and the mind and its goal is to achieve orgasm , without emissions of fluid, to preserve one's sexual energy.

Tantric sex is practiced in a calm and soothing atmosphere. The famous tantric massage promises an intense, tenfold orgasm that spreads throughout the body (if you are also a fan of Sex and the City, you have the idea and the image in mind). The goal is to immerse the other person in absolute relaxation by massaging their entire body, genitals included, without sexualizing them with the gesture, just stick with gentle caresses. When this massage leads to sexual intercourse, whatever it may be, the sensations are increased tenfold as all your senses are awakened.

Tantric philosophy, however, remains dense and sometimes hard to understand, slow sex therefore allows us to take what suits us by drawing inspiration from it to spice up our sexuality without applying everything. We always stay in our state of mind, it's almost a mantra: the only rules are yours.

The selection of the Blush team

The Blush team has put together the perfect box for you to take care of yourself (alone or in pairs) and indulge in slow sex.

In the program :

• A Nudco body massage oil : An ideal companion for reducing muscular tension, this relaxing oil delicately scented with cedar and citrus essential oils will give your massages the enhanced intimacy dimension you are looking for, in addition to the soft and silky skin. Arouse romance, nudity, caresses with this ultra clean oil.
• Miyé intimate gel : It helps to moisturize, protect and relieve intimate areas that could be dry or sensitized. This intimate treatment is recommended in case of discomfort before menstruation, vaginal dryness, dyspareunia, or during perimenopause.
• Hyaluronic acid lubricant Bijoux indiscreets :

  Discover this lubricant based on water and hyaluronic acid to slide smoothly on the wave of pleasure.
  Well known in the cosmetic industry, hyaluronic acid goes beyond facial hydration. This highly hydrating active ingredient keeps your natural water level stable, preserving your skin's hydration and elasticity. The mixture of water and hyaluronic acid is the perfect combination to avoid the discomfort of friction while maintaining the vitality and natural lubrication of your intimate area.
  Hyaluronic acid acts on the outer layer of your skin, creating a natural hydrating barrier.

Up to you !

Nina Ristori

Sources 

Slow sex, loving yourself in full consciousness , Anne and Jean-François Descombes, ed. Marabout, €6.90