What do we know about orgasm in 2021? To believe the myths that persist in the collective imagination, not much. Small clarification in 4 statements…inexact.

“There are two orgasms: the clitoral and the vaginal”

A general misunderstanding of women's bodies coupled with a demonization of solo female pleasure, notably orchestrated by Freud, have caused centuries of guilt and ignorance by those affected of their own erogenous zones.

Today, we now know that the orgasm is by definition clitoral, since the clitoris is the only organ of pleasure and has a modest sum of 8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings. Just that. What about the one you feel during penetration? It is linked to the internal part of the organ, whose “wings” encircle the vulva and the vestibule.

“All women can reach orgasm several times”

Multiple orgasm exists, without a doubt. But not all women can achieve it, and especially not every time (literally and figuratively: the partner also has his role to play in the affair).

Some are no longer receptive after having enjoyed the first time, others experience such sensitivity in the clitoris that stroking it again becomes painful. A reality to be normalized!

“Orgasm depends on the size of the partner’s penis”

When we talk about penis-vagina relations, we often hear that the size of the penis of the person who penetrates would have a disproportionate importance in the accession of the person who is penetrated to enjoyment. The bigger it was, the better the experience would be, basically.

We're not going to beat around the bush: that's completely false. As we said above, orgasm depends on the stimulation of the clitoral bulbs , and therefore on the attention that the other person puts into touching us in the right place. Little link with proportions, therefore.

“Orgasm is essential for every intercourse”

Last but not least: we can have fun without ending our lovemaking with an orgasm.

Exploring your body to discover what makes us feel good is essential, that your partner knows what makes you tick, too, but experiencing your sexuality as yet another injunction is no.

Moreover, the less we visualize this explosive ending as a goal to absolutely achieve, the more we will let ourselves enjoy the moment, and the more our pleasure will increase tenfold. Win-win.

Pauline Machado, journalist