Mutual masturbation to reinvent your sexuality
In a relationship, there may be periods when sexuality needs to be renewed. What if you tried mutual masturbation? We tell you more with the insight of Dr Laure Pochet Neuville, general practitioner and psycho-sexologist.
Masturbation is often associated with a solitary act. “ In autoeroticism, it still remains culturally imbued with shame, selfishness, prohibition and guilt even if it is increasingly practiced by women and has always been practiced by men ,” begins Dr. Laure Pochet Neuville.
Although speech is gradually becoming more open on this subject, it sometimes has difficulty getting through the couple's bedroom door. However, masturbation as a couple can be a moment of total excitement, and far from indicating a sexual problem within the couple, it can breathe new life into it.
What exactly is mutual masturbation?
“ It is a masturbation that is practiced by two people, reciprocal or not ,” defines Dr. Laure Pochet Neuville, who distinguishes two parts:
- “ Each individually caresses themselves at the same time as the other;
- Each caresses the other;
This is found naturally in a shared sexuality with a little bit of experience .”
The benefits of mutual masturbation
We have already told you about the benefits of masturbation , well its version for two has many as well. Laure Pochet Neuville lists several:
- “ Arousal or stimulation of excitement, desire;
- Facilitation of trust, complicity and greater intimacy;
- Possible lifting of taboos leading to greater ease in one's sexuality and in one's life;
- For the partner, acquisition of a better knowledge of the techniques that bring pleasure to the other partner .
The professional also recommends mutual masturbation to her patients in many contexts: “ in cases of vaginismus, lack of knowledge of one's body, sexual passivity, erosion of desire… ”
It is precisely to remedy an erosion of desire after pregnancy that Anna*, 35, began practicing mutual masturbation with her partner Hugo. “ In the evening, I would definitely prefer to watch three episodes of a bad detective series while eating Pépitos, rather than slip under the duvet to try to rekindle the flame. »
It was after realizing that their sex life was failing and that they both wanted to find a solution to fix it, that they began to broach the subject. “ One night we went to bed early to talk, and the conversation turned to the topic of our fantasies. He told me that he would like to watch me masturbate. Just observe, without touching myself. I found it a bit strange. I was almost embarrassed to make myself feel good in front of the man of my life. As if it remained forbidden, or too private to share. »
And then finally, they decide to try, putting each other at ease and that's what clicked. “ The more I stared into his eyes, the more I wanted him even though he didn't even touch me. I wouldn't know how to describe this feeling, but it's as if at that moment, there was a void around us. It was more than sexual. The intensity, the intimacy that mutual masturbation brought us recreated a connection that goes beyond the ass I would say. Even if after five minutes we were jumping on each other (laughs). »
To discover his testimony in its entirety, click here .
How to get started?
Like any new thing you want to bring to bed, communication with your partner is the key to any well-dosed spice.
Sometimes we're a little embarrassed to talk about it or get started for the first time, so we go at our own pace, gently, communicating throughout.
“ First, we will talk about it with the partner, play down the drama and try to consider that it is a game, a sexual game that deserves exploration with of course always listening to oneself and respecting oneself in this practice. You have to allow yourself to show that you have pleasure, to show yourself in your own pleasure ,” advises Laure Pochet Neuville. “ If necessary, we put on dim lighting, sensual music, a light veil or transparent clothing on ourselves, or we can watch an erotic or pornographic film or book before the practice ,” continues the psycho-sexologist.
Then, we start gently, as Laure Pochet Neuville explains:
- “ We can start by caressing each other’s sexes through clothes;
- Caress each other individually back to back and feel the other's body, hear their breath, noises, heat tension…. ;
- Lying naked side by side and everyone masturbating;
- Everyone takes turns giving caresses, alternating. »
Again, there are no rules, you just need to find the technique that suits you, excites you and makes you comfortable. Mutual masturbation is “ like everything else: you have to know how to listen to yourself and dare a little more, while always remaining kind to yourself and to others. »
Which sex toy is best suited for mutual masturbation?
At Blush we have an easy answer (all sex toys can be suitable for this activity!) but the idea here is to give you some good advice to guide you towards the products most suited to your nightstand.
In the family of vibrating pebbles : if we had to choose just one, it would be the Yuki from Iroha by Tenga . Its soft texture and semi-insertable tip make it an exceptional roller to increase excitement. Whether it is held by your partner or by yourself, its silhouette will capsize you. Its little extra? A beautiful mini charging base for an embellished nightstand.
In the family of clitoral stimulators : Same, if we had to choose only one we would obviously take Ona , for its compact side, its performance and its affordable price (79€).
In the family of penetrative sex toys: the Arc de Dame is a must! Its curvature and length allow you not to miss any pleasure spots in the vagina (zone G, deep spots, zone R, take a look at our article dedicated to internal pleasure , or Sarah's testimony ).
Finally, in the hybrid family, those which provide pulsation/suction, vibration and/or penetration at the same time, we recommend the magnificent Bird from Osuga or the essential Coco from Puissante, they are among our favorites!
We just have to wish you a good exchange between willing partners :)
*the first name has been changed
Nina Ristori
