Not missing enough? Here are 5 exercises to stimulate your libido as a couple

Tantric sex, perineal muscle building, caresses for two without penetration, I tried 5 practices that could awaken my desire for sex.

For several months, it has been running out of fuel. My desire is at a standstill. The tricks that had the gift of turning me on in less time than it took to say “handcuffs” in the past no longer have any effect on me today. I barely shivered while watching Outlander on Saturday, that’s saying something.

However - and this is the problem because otherwise, believe me, I would have given up on the matter - I want to want to. I only dream of that, of rediscovering the sensation of being exhilarated by the simple idea of ​​imagining my boyfriend in a sailor's uniform returning from a long sea voyage (go figure, everyone has their own ultra-stereotypical fantasies) . To feel hot while clinging to him at night. To wake up in sweat after an erotic dream that would have transported me far away. Very far.

So, just to put all the chances on my side to rekindle this dormant flame that I sorely miss, I decided to be proactive. And to try my hand at a series of varied exercises supposed to stimulate the libido. Report.

1- Tantric sex

I'm starting strong, with a practice quite different from what we're used to doing together. Tantric sex comes from Buddhist philosophy and consists of bringing awareness to the sexual act. We first look at each other's bodies, then we do intense breathing exercises while we mentally direct our energy towards the vulva or penis. We get closer while containing ourselves, we listen to our long breaths, we let the imagination work by increasing the pressure.

Summary : at first it's destabilizing, quickly it's fascinating. Against each other, we felt a desire that grew crescendo with concentration. And we started again the next day.

2- Everything for me

I read somewhere several weeks ago that a way to reclaim your desire could also involve asking your partner to dedicate themselves entirely, for a moment, to their own pleasure. Understand that he or she will explore one or more of our erogenous zones (unsuspected for some) and subsequently do themselves good by doing us good. We, meanwhile, enjoy it.

Summary : clearly, it works wonderfully. You will tell me: what is the difference with classic foreplay? Well, precisely this: these are not foreplay since they do not precede anything. Apart from the orgasm. The person who shares our bed will have taken care of us, and we, of no one.

3- Contractions

Okay, said like that, it sounds more like childbirth than enjoyment. Except no. This involves stimulating your pelvic floor to strengthen it and subsequently increase sexual satisfaction. I'm ready for anything, even doing sports, so I get started and every day for a short week, I contract and release the perineum every 10 seconds over a period of 10 minutes. At the end of the challenge, go to bed!

Summary: Not crazy. Maybe I didn't follow the instructions correctly or maybe my perineum didn't need to push more than that (the postpartum catheter will have made it firmer than ever), but I didn't observe major changes. Next.

4- Everything except penetration

Usually our lovemaking follows a well-oiled (or lubricated) routine and it systematically ends with penetration. For the good reason that we like it. But this was an opportunity to try something else. So, we focused on the caresses of our fingers and our tongue.

Conclusion : revealing. I don't know why we hadn't made love like that before, but the sensations that came from it reminded me that my whole body can cum.

5- Play with food

By food I mean products that do not stick too much to the bed and also do not trigger discomfort in the vulva or unbalance the flora. We are here to do good, not to get a yeast infection. It can be fruit placed on the navel, ice cubes, or even whipped cream licked from the fingertips. Enough to whet the appetite, in theory.

Bottom line: a little distracting, I would say. Apart from the ice cube that I ran down his chest and which he then slipped between my legs (I'm still shivering), we ended up making a salad with the rest. The good thing is that this taste stimulation awakened my senses. And wasn't that the whole point of the maneuver, ultimately?