Does sexual incompatibility really exist?

You are dating someone, you love spending time with this person, you adore their personality and their humor, as the days go by your complicity only increases, in short, the ideal start for a relationship, only here it is, in bed this is not transcendent.
Could it be that you are sexually incompatible?
Sexual incompatibility has nothing to do with the love or attachment one has for one's partner and it has nothing to do with one's performance either. Sexual incompatibility is simply the gap between each person's expectations and interests.

When physical alchemy does not exist

It's all a question of feeling as they say! Generally we feel it from the start when the sexual current does not flow, for example at the time of the first kiss we can feel if we have the same sexual energy or not. So the feelings are certainly present but the desire, not at all! It's true that not all couples experience the carnal madness of the beginning (you know very well what I'm talking about 😉) but as they love each other's presence, it doesn't bother them and they tell themselves that it will end. by taking the time to find the perfect balance within the relationship. However, this does not always work out.

What are the most common incompatibilities?

The one that comes first is incompatibility regarding the frequency of sexual intercourse. This gap can occur at any time within the couple, whether after 6 months of relationship or after 5 years. Of course we cannot speak of incompatibility if it is due to something circumstantial, such as the arrival of a newborn, an illness, a period of stress or fatigue.
For other couples this difference in frequency manifests itself from the start and it causes a lot of frustration both for the partner who suffers it and for the other who feels guilty of not living up to desires and expectations. of his/her spouse. Excuses to avoid physical contact accumulate until even the simplest gestures of tenderness fade for fear of sending the wrong signal to the other.
The second most common incompatibility is that which concerns sexual interests. In other words; what to do when one appreciates BDSM practices and the other not at all?
More seriously, when partners do not agree on the practices that each likes to do, for example oral sex or other, this causes a lot of frustration for both. The reluctant partner can refuse certain practices if he/she does not feel comfortable (and that is totally ok) except that these refusals can over time lead to distancing from the other or even generate conflicts .

What should you do if you realize that you are sexually incompatible with your partner?

As I like to say, you have to communicate! Communication is the basis of any healthy and lasting relationship.
Don't think that everything will get better over time if you remain silent (this is valid in any situation, professional or personal). You remain in silence because you think that this will buy your peace and that you will live in total harmony, this is false! To say nothing is to slowly kill your relationship because you will accumulate so much frustration that you will end up exploding, perhaps reaching a point of no return.
Obviously, the idea is not to bend to the desires and interests of the other but to find common ground to allow both of you to flourish sexually.

How to overcome sexual incompatibility?

From a personal point of view, it is important to have a good knowledge of your body and its sensitivity to be able to better guide your partner. Do you like this or that thing? Say it. Do you prefer it a little softer or a little more energetic? Say it. Only you can know what you want right now.
You can also call on a sexologist to help you work on this incompatibility.
And why not use a sex toy during your lovemaking. Using a sex toy as a couple can be very beneficial for your sexual development as a couple . Indeed, an American study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine* reports that compared to people who do not use sex toys, those who use them declare that:

• They are more likely to reach orgasm
• They have more sexual desire
• their excitement builds more quickly
• They have better natural lubrication
• And have equal or even better satisfaction

Ona, our first vibrating clitoral stimulator is perfect for use by two people (that's kind of why we created it).
It has a pulsed air head which very well imitates the suction function to be placed directly on the clitoris or on the nipples and a vibrating body which provides a touch which awakens the sensations of the slightest area touched. 🔥

One last thing, it is totally possible to have a beautiful story despite sexual incompatibility, the place of sexuality is not the same in all couples. Of course if one partner has a high libido and the other doesn't it could be complicated but once again it all depends on your sensitivity and how you see things. ❤️‍🔥

Lara

Sources :

* Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use by women and men in the US