How do I use a clitoral stimulator as a couple?
The question of integrating a sextoy into our lovemaking when we're in a relationship is not an easy one for all couples to tackle. In fact, when the subject comes up, everyone has a lot of questions. "Am I giving him enough pleasure? Why replace me with an object?"
Fear not, no sex toy can replace the warmth and presence of a body and above all replace the bond that is created with your partner at the moment of taking the act.
That being said, more and more couples are assuming they use sex toys during intercourse and go so far as to say that it has made their sex life much more torrid. 🔥
One of our subscribers gave us a testimonial about using a clitoralstimulator with her partner.
"Then I met my boyfriend, and communication is a strong point in our relationship. As we talked, we realized that we both wanted to try out new things, and it all happened really naturally."
She goes on to point out something important in any relationship.
"I think the basis is communication and listening to each other's desires and fears! And frankly, once you've tried Ona, it's impossible to do without it, even for your partner to see the other in ecstasy - it's just wonderful, I think! [...] Sometimes he's the one holding Ona."
With a testimonial like this one (we thank him for it, by the way), I think it can help get over the hurdle to broach the subject with his/ her partner. 😏
Discuss the subject with your partner
The most important thing to remember when broaching this subject is to be honest and express why and how the addition of a sextoy will be a playful and erotic instrument, or even beneficial to your lovemaking.
The best way to broach the subject with your partner is to bring it up naturally. "Hey! A friend told me about so..." or "I read an article that talked about..." (like this one 😉 ).
The idea here is not to try to convince your partner, it's not a plea, you have to accept the other person's reticence. If your partner closes himself to this proposal, or even to any discussion on the subject, it's useful to talk things over to understand where this reticence comes from.
In many heterosexual couples, there's a fear of being replaced by the object. While women take more ownership of their pleasure and claim solo use of sex toys, some men see it as a "rival". In this case, it can be useful to talk about the benefits and reassure the other person that the sextoy is not a "rival", but should be seen as an "ally".
The advantages of using a sextoy as a couple
Using a sextoy as a couple brings many benefits to the relationship. It allows you to discover new sensations: the sextoy stimulates the erogenous zones in a different way.
It can also enhance communication between you. Talking more about your sexual desires and preferences builds trust and complicity between partners. Sextoys can help you overcome sexual inhibitions and taboos, allowing you to learn more about yourself and your partner.
Which sextoy should you use as a couple?
If you're just starting to introduce sex toys into your lovemaking, the best sextoy to introduce is a clitoral stimulator.
Ona, our vibrating clitoral stimulator, is designed to be used by two. One of the great advantages of Ona's design is the size of the opening for the suction part. As well as being suitable for all sizes of clitoris, your partner will have less trouble aiming in the heat of the moment. You can also gently switch Ona to vibration mode to be sure of getting off the ground (precision may be less necessary in suction/vibration combo mode).
Ona can also be used on your partner's erogenous zones. Your imagination is your only limit, so give in to your desires and Ona will follow you, even in the shower (yes, Ona is waterproof).
The best positions to use a sextoy for two
Obviously, the best positions are those where the clitoris is easily accessible. Even if the person with a clitoris can use the sextoy themselves during sex, here we give you the best positions for use by the other partner, always with a view to sharing pleasure and discovering each other.
- The missionary: classic, timeless and effective, the missionary is ideal for this type of practice since the partner underneath has her legs spread, giving direct access to the clitoris.
- Doggy style: this position gives the partner at the back direct access to his or her partner's vulva.
- The spoon: The partner at the back can pass his hand over his partner's body or between her thighs to place the sextoy in the desired place..
Tips from Bouche Bée ❤️🔥
Use Lube!
Although the natural capacities of the human body are sometimes more than enough to have a good time, arming yourself with a good lubricant can be very useful. Sometimes, during lovemaking, the vagina dries out with friction (especially with a condom), causing discomfort. But don't panic: a good lubricant is just what you need!
Discover Lube, our 100% natural water-based lubricant with hyaluronic acid. Well-known in cosmetics, hyaluronic acid is well known for its moisturizing virtues. The mix of water and hyaluronic acid is the perfect combination to avoid the discomfort of friction while maintaining the vitality and natural lubrication of your intimate area.
Taking turns
Sex is a shared experience between you and your partner. Take turns trying out sex toys to see what works best and turns you on the most. This exchange of roles allows everyone to refocus on their own pleasure.
Keep an open mind
It's important that both partners are comfortable with the idea of using a sextoy as a couple. If one of them is a little reluctant, the quality of your lovemaking will suffer.
I'll say it again, communication is the key! But don't forget that communication without understanding is not productive. The discussion should start before you introduce the sextoy into your sex life and should continue during your lovemaking. This will help you determine what's best for each of you.
Lara
