Reconnect with your body and your desires postpartum? Mission not so impossible

Between hormonal upheaval and the need to adapt to a new daily life, postpartum often impacts our libido. Here are some ways to get there.

This is the side effect that we don't talk about. Or at least not enough for us to prepare for it. After nine months of pregnancy and childbirth which left our body, this temple, in disarray, we welcome a new reality: our desire too, has taken a big hit. And the little flame of libido that we were already trying to keep alive in the past has been reduced to almost nothing.

Because let's be honest, before getting pregnant, the atmosphere wasn't really one of sexual enthusiasm. It's been a while since the initial desires evaporated in favor of TV evenings watching Koh Lanta . Appointments which have nothing negative - far from it, we even look forward to them - but which can help establish a routine that is difficult to shake up.

Add to this the fear of pain (all the more present post-episiotomy), the difficult dissociation between mother and lover, hormones... And the idea of ​​finally reconnecting with one's intimacy appears to us as a sweet mirage. This is where we come in.

Rituals and self-repossession

First of all, a question: does this situation really bother us, or are we simply suffering from the societal injunction to performance and frequent sex? In both cases, solutions exist.

When we experience it without incident, there is an urgency to leave ourselves alone. If you want to reconnect with the thrills of before, however, a few rituals can help.

As a couple, this involves re-breathing a wind of seduction that tends to be lacking. Forget for a few moments that our relationship is more punctuated by nighttime awakenings because of teething than by burning cuddles, and take a babysitter two evenings a month.

Force yourself to only be in love for several hours. Relax, find yourself, listen to each other. And don't come home too late to continue the night in bed, encouraged by the festive and romantic atmosphere of the evening.

Under the duvet, explore, through our own caresses or those of the other, our vulva, our breasts, our clitoris, the sensation of her skin against ours. Go at our own pace, putting words to our immediate desires. Evoking these fantasies that we keep in the back of our minds, guiding his hand, feeling the breath in the crook of our neck and abandoning ourselves in his arms. Don't forget the lubricant, which will delicately accompany penetration, if the desire for penetration returns, perhaps later. Of his penis, of his fingers. A sex toy that we integrate into lovemaking.

Or, reserve it just for yourself, this object. To cherish each other, to look at each other, to explore each other. (re)discover yourself. Rely on the astonishing powers of a connected vibrator or a clitoral stimulator whose effectiveness no longer needs to be proven . Alone, and powerful.

Also work on the tone of your perineum, using exercises developed by health professionals. A muscular pelvic floor allows, among other benefits, to increase one's own pleasure. How it works ? After consultation (essential) to ensure that we are aware of our anatomy, we “wear” geisha balls (or Kegel) adapted to the capacity of our body for 20 minutes a day.

Enough to convince us without difficulty to take back, gently and with patience, we insist, possession of this new body. And finally, to be reborn by doing good.

To go further, find all the benefits of masturbation here .